#PerfectLove

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When I was instructed to turn to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 by a devotional I was reading this morning, I was almost tempted to skip right on over it.  'I've read it a million times,' I thought, 'I don't need to read this verse right now.'  But God leading, I did turn to it and read:

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

As I was reading, God was whispering to my heart, "Katrina, stop.  Examine your heart.  Open it to my Word today.  Do YOU love?"  I have to be honest here that as my eyes fell over many of those descriptions of love breathed by God, my heart whispered back, 'No Lord.  I do not.  I don't love like this."  Then, tempted to hang my head in shame, He led me to turn to Psalm 136:1...

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, His love endures forever."


"Give thanks to the Lord" because I fail to love according to His Word?  No.  "Give thanks to the Lord" because HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER!


Wow, what an awesome God we serve! 

Woven

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This morning, upon turning to July 4th in "A Mother's Prayer" mini daily calendar, I read:

 

"In the midst of the praying, it is comforting to remember that God considers families important.  Before he called a nation, he created a family." ~Quin Sherrer

 

Of course I was first drawn to the word "nation" with today being Independence Day, but then when the quote ended on "family," so did my thoughts rest there. 

 

My family is currently on hold so to speak...at least temporarily.  With my extended family this is true as we've all been scattered about the different states of the nation, each one taking a little needed space to just breathe while we all individually deal with the losses and struggles we've had to face over the past few years.  For my immediate family, we feel on hold as we wait in prayer for the Lord to move and open the door to adding more children to our midst. 

 

With my world seeming on hold for so long, life had begun to feel stagnant, like I was being cut off from the deepest desires of my heart - my dreams of writing, of having more children, and of needing those deeper and more meaningful relationships in my life.

Shifted

As I’m sitting here sipping my morning cup of coffee, the rain pouring down outside and a cool breeze bristling through the branches of the trees, I’m feeling refreshed and peaceful.  Just like the rain is a reprieve from the hot, muggy days we’ve been experiencing, Jesus has been a reprieve to my soul.  I just finished reading the last pages of what has been an amazing book – "Stressed-Less Living," by Tracie Miles and I truly can’t believe that this life changing twelve week journey, with all the incredible woman of Melissa Taylor's Online Bible Studies and Proverbs 31 Ministries, is already coming to a close.  I’m not ready for it to end.

I remember, when considering going down this path, feeling like perhaps I should skip this study and rejoin for the next one because I was going to be so busy during those twelve set weeks…I almost have to laugh at myself now - knowing what I’ve learned since then; especially in reading the last chapter and when considering the reflection verse this week:

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." ~Luke 10:41-42 

Boy am I glad that the Lord kept me from that mistake – from being Martha!  I was going to choose the “many things” when what I needed most was “only one thing” – Jesus.  Praise the Lord he did not allow me to travel down that familiar sun parched road again!  Even though I am certain that he would not have abandoned me, I am equally sure that I would not have experienced the renewal and growth that I have spiritually and emotionally and I certainly would not have the peace in my heart that he has provided me with through this journey...

Breaking Point

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This week in Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Studies we studied chapter 10: “Broken for Breakthrough,” in the book “Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles.  As one of our blog hop topics, we were asked to write about a breaking point in our life.  For mine, I’m going to share with you all a previous post of mine that I had written last August, just a few months before discovering Proverbs 31 and the online Bible studies.  I think that through it you will see that it was no coincidence that I “stumbled across” these studies just as they were getting ready to begin the “Let. It. Go.” book.  At that time, I was definitely at a breaking point in my life – struggling with physical health problems, fear, lingering post-partum depression, stress-eating, relational and family stress, and on top of all of that, I had fallen away from my close, daily relationship with our Lord.  It was also only a couple months after my Mom had open-heart surgery to repair a birth defect that had gone undiagnosed and as a result had almost killed her…just one month after I originally wrote this post, she died…God turned me back to him knowing how much I was going to need him just a few short weeks later.  God is good. 

 

(from August ’12)

I spent much of my life struggling to hide and stuff down the pain that I felt, so that on the outside, I'd look strong and unbreakable; but it was all a front. Truth was, inside, my pain and sorrow continually cut like a knife, destroying me slowly one tiny piece at a time. I did not always know the Lord, nor have I always understood that my daily struggles in the world could be healed through His Word. While sometimes I find myself briefly falling back into my old habits, the Lord is always there to pick me up and remind me of His truths...

Lay Down My Pride

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This morning, while reading chapter six of “Stressed-Less Living” by Tracie Miles, an image came to light and illuminated an important message for me – one that I was hoping to express here to all of you.  However, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to sit down and begin to write out those thoughts until this evening, I became worried that the inspiration and clarity I felt would drift away like a cloud on a windy day, just as so many of the messages like this one had before it.  That has proven to be one of my biggest obstacles that I’ve had to face in my writing – being able to retrieve inspired thoughts when the time finally comes in which I’m able to write.  All too often I find myself becoming distracted and frustrated to the point that what was once so clear in my mind, has now become fuzzy and disjointed.  Even though I was on guard of this happening today, I still found myself falling victim to it yet again and the reason why is simple – even though I’d prayed for clarity to remain, I had not put on the full armor of God.

“Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” ~Ephesians 6:11-12

Satan has sure done his homework in knowing just the right time to begin his assault in my life and on my mind.  He chooses his flaming arrows wisely and hits his targets with astounding accuracy – yes, Satan is a master when it comes to the art of destruction.  His attacks have come frequently and swiftly as of late.  With every revelation, motivation, inspiration from God, has been another bombardment from Satan, leaving me overwhelmingly fatigued, foggy-minded, and frustrated - all generally not feelings in which God’s Word can easily be activated in our lives.

Lord, I put on the belt of truth around my waist, and the breastplate of righteousness in place, so that I may stand firm with my feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  Lord, I also take up the shield of faith, with which I can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one, and I put on the helmet of salvation and take up the sward of the spirit – your Word Lord – so that I will be alert and ready for his assault.  Lord, I thank you for the protection in which you have provided from the evil one and I give you all the glory that comes from this victory, in Jesus name, Amen.

Last week, I shared with all of you one of the areas in which Satan has been aiming his assault at in my life, starting all the way back in grade school – the flaming arrows of independence and pride – arrows in which struck and stuck when I found myself struggling with trust and hurt caused by broken friendships and bullying.  Through that experience I was deceived into believing that it was easier to just go it alone because surely this was easier than the betrayal and hurt that can result from depending on others, and those thoughts and feelings were continually fed by the world and by Satan, until I believed that dependence on anything or anyone is weak and I couldn’t be weak because to become weak meant being vulnerable, and being vulnerable meant getting taken advantage of and ultimately hurt.  And so, out of this marathon for independence came strength – an unhealthy strength in myself, and from that grew pride – a blinding pride to God in my life...