Who U R

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Who am I?  And why am I here?

The answers to those questions I’m beginning to fear.
Am I a rose blossoming in the light?
Or am I only a left over fragrance fading in the night?
What am I?  Could you tell me?  Or do I want to know?
Am I just another flower that belongs in a row?
Among the gardens of flowers do I want to be found?
People staring beneath my blossoms
At the thorns and roots by which I’ve been bound?
Those roots – they are sucking in the water too fast!
Drowning my future…overwatering my past!
Oh how they’ve held me, and those thorns how they’ve torn-
My thoughts into two, I’m becoming so worn.
But go on without them, do I dare?
Pull away from the comfort that I’ve planted there?
My thoughts, my feelings…how do I show that I care?
Someone, please, rid me of all my confusions!
Take the time to show me that happiness
Is not just another one of life’s delusions...
Could you at least attempt to answer me this -
Or do I want to know?
Am I a rose blossoming in the light?
Or just another flower in the garden
Whose fragrance is fading in the night?
~written by Katrina Wylie ‘98

 

One of the things I’ve been struggling with the last few years is losing weight and getting back into shape after first: a car accident that resulted in a neck injury, and second: the pregnancy and birth of my daughter which also resulted in more physical injury and limitations.  Though getting healthy is definitely on my “need” list, it seems every renewed attempt I’ve made has ended the same way – giving into temptations due to a perceived lack of results.  Every time I’d get dressed, and every time I’d look in the mirror, I’d see the me that I didn’t want to be anymore…the extra me, if you know what I mean!  Then, out of discouragement, whenever a craving would present itself or when it became time to do a work out and I had a million other things to do, the attitude I found myself adopting was: “What’s the point?” I think this same thing can happen to us in our Christian walks...

Breaking Point

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This week in Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Studies we studied chapter 10: “Broken for Breakthrough,” in the book “Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles.  As one of our blog hop topics, we were asked to write about a breaking point in our life.  For mine, I’m going to share with you all a previous post of mine that I had written last August, just a few months before discovering Proverbs 31 and the online Bible studies.  I think that through it you will see that it was no coincidence that I “stumbled across” these studies just as they were getting ready to begin the “Let. It. Go.” book.  At that time, I was definitely at a breaking point in my life – struggling with physical health problems, fear, lingering post-partum depression, stress-eating, relational and family stress, and on top of all of that, I had fallen away from my close, daily relationship with our Lord.  It was also only a couple months after my Mom had open-heart surgery to repair a birth defect that had gone undiagnosed and as a result had almost killed her…just one month after I originally wrote this post, she died…God turned me back to him knowing how much I was going to need him just a few short weeks later.  God is good. 

 

(from August ’12)

I spent much of my life struggling to hide and stuff down the pain that I felt, so that on the outside, I'd look strong and unbreakable; but it was all a front. Truth was, inside, my pain and sorrow continually cut like a knife, destroying me slowly one tiny piece at a time. I did not always know the Lord, nor have I always understood that my daily struggles in the world could be healed through His Word. While sometimes I find myself briefly falling back into my old habits, the Lord is always there to pick me up and remind me of His truths...

Matter of the Heart




"He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds." ~Psalm 147:3 
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The matter of the heart – it matters to God.  How do we know that? - Because it’s a topic that can be found all throughout the Bible.  In just the last three days I’ve spent digging deeper into Psalm 147:3, I counted the word “heart,” and its many variations, used 75 times in God’s Word.  That’s a lot and I’m sure there are many more still.  This “matter of the heart” has also been an important subject threaded throughout the book “Stressed-Less Living” by Tracie Miles.  Like I shared in a previous post of mine, "A Gift From Above," the lesson that has impacted me the most so far through this book is that God cares more about changing our hearts than he does about changing our circumstances.  This has been affirmed to me again this week, through Psalm 147:3.

When I looked up “broken hearted” in my dictionary, which read: “overcome by grief or despair,” I couldn’t help but also notice a few of the related words and their definitions. 

“Hearten” – encourage, energize, enliven, arouse, rally, rouse, stir

“Heartfelt” – sincere, genuine, honest, true, unfeigned, deep, profound
“Heartless” – unfeeling

What caught my attention in reading these, and maybe perhaps it drew yours too, is that the descriptions of the first two sounds like they’re describing God himself and what he does.  So much so that we could just erase the words “hearten” and “heartfelt” and replace them with “God” in the dictionary.  But then there’s the third one.  Is it just me, or could “unbeliever” possibly be substituted here for “heartless?”  I know that the word “unfeeling” described me before I came to know Christ as my personal savior and it is also how I can start to become again when I wander from him...